We're (ALL) Doing The Best We Can

As most of you know, we're been doing this autism thing for almost 13 (anniversary of the first diagnosis in 2 months!)  Over 15 if you count the blissful denial period.

In that time we've seen a lot of shit both inside and outside the community.  Too much to list here.  Just say, it can be disheartening.  We've seen tons of good stuff, too.   Much more than the bad.

But I'd like to mention something I've seen going on within the community.  And that is giving advice as if you were the expert/parent.  Saying "This is the way it should be done, and I KNOW BEST."

In one case recently, I saw a parent advise another parent that she should kick her older teenager out if he didn't buckle down to the rules.

WOW!  You have no idea what is going on with that child or parent.  You have no idea what the family dynamics are.  You have no right to make another parent feel inferior because of their parenting.

When a person puts a question out there, they are baring a part of their soul where they feel inadequate.  Not up to this gig called parenting a special needs kid.  And you just ripped their parenting?

Many of us have developed some thick skin when it comes to outsiders thinking they know everything.  Giving us dumb-ass advise and running off at the mouth.

But when we come to others who walk the same road we do and then give them a didactic reply as if that was the only way to do it?

How about we say "This is what worked for me..."  "Have you tried...."  "In that situation I might...."?

When others in our special needs community open their wounded hearts to us, we have a duty to apply a little salve and not rip a hole in it.


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