A Very (not) Merry Christmas

Nathan has been doing so much better (not screaming, crying and biting himself 17 hours a day) for months, so we decided to come visit Paul's folks for Christmas.

We kind of overlooked the fact that Nathan is still intermittently (frequently) having trouble sleeping.  Like up at 4am, or not going to sleep until 1:30.

Last night at the hotel he outdid himself.  He was up past 3:30.  Laughing, talking, unable to quit rotating like a top in bed.  I took the first round in bed with him.  But I realized there was no point in being in the same room with Paul, because Paul was still awake and listening to us.  So, being the rational (and very selfish) person that I am, I went into the other room with Sam and closed the door at about 1:30.

I can tell you that, at least in our family, parenting skills experience a marked degradation as night turns into morning.  Neither of us were thrilled with our own behaviors last night.   This morning, while staring blankly off into space and waiting for the coffee to brew we are considering driving home today instead of staying the extra day.

This is going to be a day of following Nathan around, verbally handing him off (I'm going to talk to your dad, have you got him?) and going for walks through boggy woods with him as he works to cope with the much higher level of chaos.  And us coping with comments on how many cookies he is eating and how sugar can make him hyper.  I'm sorry, you think you can make him more hyper?  Since when did you achieve minor god status?

Added to the fact that it is the day after our 20th anniversary, and only one dear friend (our lovely Dani) bothered to acknowledge and celebrate that (other than facebook, thank you dear friends), which makes me feel childish and resentful.

I was very proud of the fact that I had placed so low a value on Christmas this year.  I was so undermotivated, we didn't even get a tree.  My decorating acumen has degraded so far over the years that the tree was the last bastion left.  But this year I had even overcome that.  

But I don't think this is a Christmas loss, it is a regular loss. One of those things where we set our expectations and then acted all surprised when things turned out differently. I'm not quite sure how to address it as an area of spiritual growth. But it's evident I need to.

Comments

  1. Sleep deprivation is the pits. Do you guys have Melatonin over there at all? I haven't tried it but friends say that it has helped their kids with sleeping issues.

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