We have it all locked up

Everyone has that one kid who gets into stuff and makes a mess. In our family, that kid is Nathan.

The problem is, he is now twelve. And he's still that kid.

His autism makes him so impulsive that, even on the odd occasion he considers there might be a consequence, it is SO worth it. Many times I will mention something, and, like I flipped a switch, he just does it.

He had punctured a therapy ball with a knife so we got a new one. Thinking perhaps he had learned a lesson, I said "Now don't pop this one.".

He walked over, grabbed a knife and POP.

We lock up our knives, medicines (he overdosed on meds we stored in the cabinet over the fridge. Yes, a child resistant cap.), sweets, juice, cereal, tools. We lock the door to the upstairs when he is up. When he is in bed we lock the attic, bathroom and our bedroom. We have keyed locks on all the doors that lead outside.

It is effing inconvenient to have the bathroom door locked at night when you get up to pee.

The problem is, he is now twelve. With height to go with it.

We store the keys on the transom over the doors and on top of the bookshelf.

This morning he got the bathroom key and before we heard him up he had:
-sprinkled my makeup around the room and rubbed it in his shirt.
-top coated that mess by rubbing bar soap into it.
-dipped my makeup brush in lotion
-trimmed my (brand new) $8 dentist-recommended toothbrush
-and his hair
-sampled codeine cough syrup (stored in a high cabinet with child resistant lid) and fortunately found it not to his liking so poured the rest of the bottle down the drain
-cut a tube of toothpaste in half.

So now we will have to carry the keys around all the time. I'm going to need more pants that have pockets. Whoever designs women's pants doesn't imagine my requirements ('Well, I have a big ass and thighs. Oh, and I need ample pockets to carry a full set of keys everywhere!')

Someone made the mistake of saying "All kids cut their hair!" I should have referred them to this blog http://spectrumom.blogspot.com/2011/06/my-kid-did-that.html?m=1. Instead, I let fly with both barrels. I'd say I'm sorry. But I'm not so much.

My husband and I joked that we need retinal scan locks in the doors. And a force field fence in the yard. Better get the application in to MA to see if waiver will help us with the cost.

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