spectrumom

All parents have an idea of the traditions they will pass on to their kids.  The excitement leading up to Christmas and opening presents.  The trick or treating and getting to as many houses as you can in your allotted time.  The chasing across a field to get as many eggs as you can, maybe get a special egg that wins a prize.  Watching fire works on the Fourth.  Going on picnics in the summer and sledding in the winter.  Bonfires and Haunted houses in the fall.  So many fun things we did as kids that we can't wait to share with our kids. And then our kids are born.  And they don't even vaguely fit into the mold we imagined.  They are overwhelmed by crowds and changes in routines.  They can't envision the future and aren't excitedly enjoying the holiday buildup.  They hate any clothes but comfy ones.  Dress up pictures and costumes are out.  They don't want to or can't say "Trick or Treat" and don't understand going...

***** We are going to level 1 grievance to request that the TSS (therapeutic support staff) hours be increased. We had asked previously and were denied. Thus, the grievance. No one from CCBH showed up to the first meeting. They read the report and denied it. Now they are calling it in on a phone conference. If we had wanted an in-person meeting (of course we WANTED it) we would have had to drive almost 2 hours. I fully expect we will have to go to level 2 and bring a lawyer. This just REALLY aggravates me. But here is the report we will read. ****** Sam is in the ninth grade.  This year he began to attend cyber school for the first time. Our reasons for entering him in cyber school are varied, but include: increased ability to work on executive functioning skills.  His assistance at school was so patchwork - aides, TSS and, at times, nothing - that essential information was not getting home in time for us to work with him on building the skills that wil...

I've been reading some BS on the webs about how some parents of kids with autism have some butt-hurt because they don't have the kids they wanted. And from the way it's worded, it sounds like it's most of us. So I wanted to put it out there what I'm butt-hurt about. I'm hurt that my kid hurts himself. I'm hurt that he hurts others. I'm hurt that other people, both peers and adults (HELLOOOOO asshole teachers) bully my child and think he is less than respect-able. I'm hurt that people assume my kids are not able because they have a difference. I'm hurt that their lives will be limited by that, in some way. And already have been (like not invited to their class parties, hmmm?) I'm hurt that my kids are not always able to speak for themselves. I'm hurt that my kids cannot choose for themselves. And, I'll admit to some butt-hurt that my life is often difficult because I put my kids' needs ahead of my own (I really,...

I touch my penis for different reaons. I touch it when I pee and when I wipe it off. I touch it when I take a bath. If I rub my penis to make it feel good, that is called masturbation. Sometimes when i masturbate, white sticky stuff comes out of my penis. That is called ejaculation. Masturbation is normal and nearly everyone does it. It is alright to mastubate. But there are rules. 1.  Mastubation is private. I should only do it in my bedroom or in the bathtub.  When I touch my penis, that is something I keep others from seeing by doing it in a room by myself. 2.  I try to keep my clothes and other things from getting messy from the sticky stuff called ejaculate.  I can use a tissue or a washcloth to catch the ejaculate that comes out. If I have pants and underwear on, I take them off before I ejaculate.  After I ejaculate I put the tissue in the trash or the washcloth in the laundry.  3.  Masturbation should only be done once or twice a day.  I s...

You young girls, with your shiny, new degrees. You KNOW everything. You've done the research. You've written theses. You've worked with experts who also KNOW everything.  You know exactly what I'm doing wrong. You've figured it out. You know that if Idid less of this, and more of that. If I put more time into it. If I had more patience. More time. More desire to actually help my son. I really could do it.  If I accepted him more. If I cherished those little idiosyncrasies. If I didn't enforce the behaviors that get in the way of him making progress, he WOULD make progress.  But here's the deal.  I've tried most of that shit. I did more of that and less of this. I've put time into it. I've learned a shit ton more of patience than you'll ever have to.  I've also scraped the shit off my 13 year old son that he smeared on himself. I've washed a ton of the soiled clothes you sent home. And a ton more from home. I've repaired the holes ...

This is for a talk I'm giving to our local ambulance squad. I stole all of the ideas off the internet, but I'm not profiting ;) The first step is to identify that a person is autistic.  Hopefully, that was part of the call.  However, this may not be the case.  An individual with autism may be pacing, rocking, repeating phrases, flapping their hands, flicking their fingers or making other repetitive hand motions.  They will probably not make eye contact with you.  They may have a strange affect, such as laughing when someone is hurt.  Their language may be very limited, or have a strange sing-song quality or they may use unusual words.  They may have a medical id on the usual spots or tied into their shoe laces. Autism now falls under one heading as of the release of the last DSM.  HOWEVER.  Autism may be called ASD, PDD, Asperger’s syndrome.  In older individuals, especially, it may be called schizophrenia or MR.  Or it ma...

Yes, I went there.  Unfortunately, THERE is a lot of Life With Autism. Last night my husband and I were all so romantic.  Kissing.  Even in front of the kids.  "Ew.  Stop that!" Kissing all evening.  Then bed time for boys.  A beer.  Bed.  Kissing. Clapping. Telling us we were like an 11 on a 10 point scale? No.  It's a stim.  Clapping so hard that he gets calluses on his hands.  That sometimes crack open. THAT hard. And laughing, hooting, singing, reciting at the top of his voice.  Definitely a romantic killer. I went in with him.  Lots of hysterical laughter.  A fellow parent described it as not the happy laughter, but psychotic.  Like the Joker's laugh right before he blows up a building. Then Sam complained he couldn't sleep (their rooms adjoin.)  I urged Nathan over and over to practice his calming techniques ('smell the flower, blow out the candle.)  A moment of peace. ...