spectrumom

Silverware I use silverware. I use forks to eat food like pasta. I use spoons to eat ice cream and cereal. I use knives to cut my food up. Silverware is very useful. Silverware is NOT for banging. I can use drumsticks for banging on the drums. I can use my hands on the table or my chest. But I can not use silverware for banging on the counter or the table or other furniture. When I bang my silverware it makes mom and dad angry. I will try to use my silverware for eating. I will not bang with my silverware.

I am starting puberty. One of the things that happens during puberty is feeling attracted to people. I find I am attracted to girls and want to talk to them. I think they are cute, and I think their bodies are attractive. However, some things are appropriate to say to girls, and some things ARE NOT. If I say things that are NOT appropriate to girls, it will make them feel bad or mad. Or even scared. And I might get in trouble. So it is important to find out the right things to say to girls. And what I shouldn't say to girls. I should not ask girls about sex. Talking about sex makes people feel uncomfortable. Also, sex is private. More private than going to the toilet. I shouldn't talk about going to the toilet in public and I shouldn't talk to people about sex. However, I can talk to my parents about sex when I have any questions. I shouldn't talk to girls about their bodies. People feel uncomfortable talking about their bodies, especially the sexual parts...

Bullying is when someone (the bully) does something to another person (the victim) to hurt him. Bullying might be hurting physically (hurting the body--like hitting or tripping someone) or hurting emotionally (making fun of someone to hurt their feelings or making them afraid.) Bullying is a way to control other people and makes the bully feel strong and powerful. It makes the victim feel powerless and afraid. Bullying is wrong no matter who does it. A bully can be someone you respect, even an adult, like a teacher. Physical bullying is when someone hurts you to make you do what they want. Another way to physically bully someone is to take their things and break them or not give them back. Some people may accidentally break your things, and that is just an accident. But if they did it to hurt you on purpose, that is bullying. Verbal bullying is using words to hurt someone. Making fun of the way you act or calling you stupid or retarded is bullying. A teacher can say “You didn’...

I took Nathan to the pediatric dentist to sign the pre-op papers for his dental surgery today. It's over an hour there, then the shuttle to the clinic, then the requisite wait. All to sign a SINGLE paper that, I swear, my husband could have signed when he was there last month. Perhaps it has to be signed within so many days of the surgery, but really! In this day of electronics, couldn't this be handled in a video conference? Or on the day of surgery? There were 3 other families in the waiting area. One was a girl probably in her teens, in a wheelchair who had her mom, her dad (who texted the entire time) and her nurse with her. For a little girl with so many adults in attendance, she slept through the whole thing. Maybe she realized she had no chance against so many adults, or maybe she was tired from them wearing her out. Who knows? There were 2 other children there with their moms, but they don't figure much. We sat as far away from anybody as possible to mini...

Irritating thing neurotypical parents say #58 "My kid used to do that!" This is supposed to make me feel better? My kid wets himself, "My kid used to do that!" My kid disappears from our yard, "My kid used to do that!" My kid screams The Who songs at the top of his voice in a restaurant, "My kid used to do that!" My kid wanders into a neighbors house, gets naked and starts to climb in their tub...yeah, you know that answer. The thing is. The thing IS. Their kid was 3 when they did it and my kid is 11. And that phrase is supposed to make me feel better? My kid has been doing those things for 11 years. When did your kid stop that? Was he doing it at 7, 8 or 10? Yeah, I thought not. So I really think it is time to shut the hell up about your kid. Unless, your kid is autistic or DD. If that is true, then honey, come sit next to me and we'll compare stories. Because nothing is better than hearing from someone who's been there. And...

I have known for a while that some of Sam's teachers did not believe that he is fully capable. And it's been confirmed by more than one source that at least one thought he should be in a 'special school.' WELL. Ignoring the fact that the LAW is on our side regarding the least restrictive environment. It makes me wonder. How can you teach a kid who you don't believe in? I know it's not just my kid that is affected. There was a really interesting experiment done where teachers were told that a class had done poorly on testing when they really hadn't. The teacher taught down to (think talked down to) their class and their scores dropped A LOT by the next year. And for an underperforming class, the teacher was told they had scored well. The next year all the kids were scoring much higher. Your kids become the people you believe them to be. As a parent and as a teacher. If you label them, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The bad one, the smart one...

The other day a friends was telling me a story and finished with "How could it get any worse than that?" Right away I rattled off a half a dozen gory ways it could indeed be worse. Horrified, she stopped my listing. While I was indeed trying to get a rise out of her, I also truly believe that it could be worse. It can always be worse. There are myriad ways it could be worse. Today I was talking to a patient with fibromyalgia. In the middle of her recitation of her aches and pains she said "and I know you said it will just get worse." There I halted her. I told her that while she will have exacerbations, she will also have remissions. This is a stable disease. While it tends not to get better, it also does not tend to get worse over the long run. But her self-talk had led her to believe that she would just keep getting worse. I told her "On bad days tell yourself 'it has been this bad before. I have made it through days as bad as this. Tomorrow...