How to Talk to Girls

I am starting puberty. One of the things that happens during puberty is feeling attracted to people. I find I am attracted to girls and want to talk to them. I think they are cute, and I think their bodies are attractive. However, some things are appropriate to say to girls, and some things ARE NOT. If I say things that are NOT appropriate to girls, it will make them feel bad or mad. Or even scared. And I might get in trouble.

So it is important to find out the right things to say to girls. And what I shouldn't say to girls.

I should not ask girls about sex. Talking about sex makes people feel uncomfortable. Also, sex is private. More private than going to the toilet. I shouldn't talk about going to the toilet in public and I shouldn't talk to people about sex. However, I can talk to my parents about sex when I have any questions.

I shouldn't talk to girls about their bodies. People feel uncomfortable talking about their bodies, especially the sexual parts of the bodies like breasts, vaginas, and penises. These are NOT appropriate to talk about, except at home.

I also shouldn't touch people on the sexual parts of their bodies (breasts, vaginas, penises and butts.) Ever. Not if I want to and not if they tell me to. Until I am an adult, this is not appropriate. If someone asks me to, I should say "No" and tell an adult. It is also not appropriate for other people to touch me on the penis or butt. And I should not talk about touching on the sexual parts of the body.

So what can I do if I am interested in a girl?

I can tell her she looks pretty, or that her clothes are nice. For instance, I can say "you look nice in that dress." Or I can say "Your hair looks pretty today."

I can ask her what she is interested in. Other people like to talk about what they are interested in, too. So if she says she is interested in music, I could say "What kind of music do you like?" Or if she says she likes a tv show, I could say "I don't know that show, tell me about it."

I can talk about what we are doing that day. If we are going swimming, I can talk to her about how I like swimming. And I can ask her if she likes what we are doing. It is always important to give her a chance to talk. It is also very important not to get stuck talking about things I like, that she might not like or that she might get bored with.

Growing up is confusing sometimes. When I have questions I can ask my TSS or my parents. Their job is to help me grow up. I will sometimes make mistakes, but they will help me whenever I ask.


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