Keeping it together

A glass shell
Fragile, cracked
every bump, every jolt widening
like a windshield in a cold snap

stellate, star-like
each ray lacerating the organism within

blood pooling
dripping through the cracks

outsiders avert eyes
give wide berth
don't be contaminated

The shell is all that keeps it together.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I'm Just Not That Sorry for You

I am sick of apologizing to you for autism. I have spent years saying things like "I'm sorry you were disturbed, he has autism." "I'm sorry you were offended my little boy took his swim shorts down and your grandaughter saw his butt." "I'm sorry your dinner was disturbed by his loud humming." "I'm sorry you were subjected to an hour of talking about Nintendo and gambling." The fact is, I just don't give a fuck about you anymore. I'm done feeling sorry for you. Probably because I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself. Or, more honestly, I'm just not giving a rat's ass about you and your feelings anymore. Because for every scream during dinner, every irritating hum, every repetitive comment on Nintendo, I've had a thousand. And frankly, I'm not the asshole that you are now for complaining to me about it. You were bothered at dinner for maybe 45 minutes. You were bothered for a three hour ...
Read more

It's All In Your Mind

After weeks of severe behaviors, Paul and I have a bit of PTSD. Every outbreak of behavior seems to trigger the feeling of "OMG, here we go again." A couple days of screaming and biting (admittedly hours every day, but still not as bad as the end of December/first several weeks of January) and we were ready to call the doctor about more meds. Today is a little better. Hell, I was in a store a week ago and heard a child scream and broke out in a cold sweat. I almost started running to him. It wasn't my child. I was there alone. We are still in reaction mode, control mode. But still, in relative terms this week is not so bad (although no one who doesn't have a challenging child would see it this way.) But both my husband and I are still on edge. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Not wanting to do what we did last time, and progress beyond the first levels of autism/bipolar hell before we do something, anything. So when this started two days ago, we immediatel...
Read more

Bully Parents

This is not a post about parents bullying kids, although there are certainly some who do. This is about parents bullying each other, specifically online. This is about replying to someone's comment, tweet, post, blog, whatever and being a absolute ass.  Actual statements to me online in the past few days.  "You must be a terrible parent if you feel that way." "Only a horrible person would say that about their child." "Using XYZ therapy is child abuse." "I have seen XYZ therapy and it was cruel." "You must hate your children if you don't like the Holland poem." Usually from people who have no idea who the hell I am. It is very intimidating to put myself out there, even in the limited way that I have, because:    1.  I don't like conflict in any form.    2.  I don't like to be criticized.    3.  I already have tons of self-doubts.    4.  I already criticize myself enough, tyvm.    5....
Read more