Peeing
For some reason, urination at our house has become a severe chore. At least as it pertains to Nathan.
Nathan did not potty train until he was 7. It was truly a joyous day when he did. He had gone through poop smearing, and taking off all his clothes which made containment...interesting.
But when he was potty trained, it all got easier. When we were out, we had to remember to take him to the toilet, because he could not tell us he needed to go. He mostly still can't. But when he had free access to a toilet, he would take himself. with little fuss. We could not leave the toilet paper out, because he would flush the roll whole. Our biggest concern was getting him to pull up his pants and not walk through the house with his family jewels displayed. That and the problem that as he becomes bigger, and more mature, taking him into public bathrooms with me becomes more fraught with social issues.
So those were our big issues. Until about a year ago. When (dum, dum, dum....DUMMMMMMM) puberty.
He pees himself while sitting on the couch 15 feet from the bathroom. He pees himself if he is left in his room for more than 5 minutes after getting up. He can stop his pee. So if he pees himself, he doesn't use his full bladder and can soak the new set of clothes 30 minutes later. He has peed himself more than 5 times a day. He points his penis up to arc across the room while seated on the toilet. He squeezes the foreskin to watch it balloon up with pee and then explode in a shower of piss.
Maybe this is funny if your child is 2. Maybe you say "My child did this at 3!" But we have a 13 year old boy with a size 13 bladder. He wears size 14 jeans that take up a lot of room in the wash.
We have timers set to send him to the bathroom. Paul stands there and says "Point your penis down. No down. Don't squeeze it shut. DOWN." We've given up telling him to get his pants all the way zipped before he steps over the threshold because by that time we've said too much already. I take him places and nervously text Paul about the last time he peed and then freak out until I get him to a bathroom. Mostly though, the accidents happen at home. Where he has more control.
We know of a couple of things that might be driving this. Peeing can be sexually pleasurable, and he is becoming sexually mature. He has control over this, and thus control over us. Because of his disability he has so little independence. We give him choice in as many things as we can. I know it can be difficult to initiate a behavior when you have autism, so even knowing that he has to go doesn't mean he can initiate the action of walking to the bathroom.
Mostly, I think, we have to wait it out. Like so many behaviors, this one will pass. A new one will start. It may be worse than this. At least this one is just extremely annoying, and doesn't hurt anyone.
Scarring is my new benchmark for acceptable behavior, I suppose.
Nathan did not potty train until he was 7. It was truly a joyous day when he did. He had gone through poop smearing, and taking off all his clothes which made containment...interesting.
But when he was potty trained, it all got easier. When we were out, we had to remember to take him to the toilet, because he could not tell us he needed to go. He mostly still can't. But when he had free access to a toilet, he would take himself. with little fuss. We could not leave the toilet paper out, because he would flush the roll whole. Our biggest concern was getting him to pull up his pants and not walk through the house with his family jewels displayed. That and the problem that as he becomes bigger, and more mature, taking him into public bathrooms with me becomes more fraught with social issues.
So those were our big issues. Until about a year ago. When (dum, dum, dum....DUMMMMMMM) puberty.
He pees himself while sitting on the couch 15 feet from the bathroom. He pees himself if he is left in his room for more than 5 minutes after getting up. He can stop his pee. So if he pees himself, he doesn't use his full bladder and can soak the new set of clothes 30 minutes later. He has peed himself more than 5 times a day. He points his penis up to arc across the room while seated on the toilet. He squeezes the foreskin to watch it balloon up with pee and then explode in a shower of piss.
Maybe this is funny if your child is 2. Maybe you say "My child did this at 3!" But we have a 13 year old boy with a size 13 bladder. He wears size 14 jeans that take up a lot of room in the wash.
We have timers set to send him to the bathroom. Paul stands there and says "Point your penis down. No down. Don't squeeze it shut. DOWN." We've given up telling him to get his pants all the way zipped before he steps over the threshold because by that time we've said too much already. I take him places and nervously text Paul about the last time he peed and then freak out until I get him to a bathroom. Mostly though, the accidents happen at home. Where he has more control.
We know of a couple of things that might be driving this. Peeing can be sexually pleasurable, and he is becoming sexually mature. He has control over this, and thus control over us. Because of his disability he has so little independence. We give him choice in as many things as we can. I know it can be difficult to initiate a behavior when you have autism, so even knowing that he has to go doesn't mean he can initiate the action of walking to the bathroom.
Mostly, I think, we have to wait it out. Like so many behaviors, this one will pass. A new one will start. It may be worse than this. At least this one is just extremely annoying, and doesn't hurt anyone.
Scarring is my new benchmark for acceptable behavior, I suppose.
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