Teenagers and Sex

Sam is 15.  At his well child check yesterday he got the HPV vaccine.  As he says "to protect me from throat cancer."

Now, he doesn't know diddly about Michael Douglas (notice how I included a form of diddle in there, because I'm so mature) and he knows nothing about cunnilingus or fellatio.  And I think he might giggle himself to death if we mentioned labia and vagina.  And he gave me a LOOK when we were talking about nocturnal emissions and denied having any such thing emit from HIS penis.  (Of course, Mr. Big Ears in the back seat didn't miss a thing.  Weeks later while walking in Target the 7 year old expert pipes up "You know, mom, more than pee can come out of your penis!"  You don't say, buddy.)

That is not to say he's not interested in sex.  He is.  And has been for years.  First, as an academic pursuit, when he went around doing an in-depth study of every one he knew(and several random acquaintances)  to see if they had sex  And, if they said 'yes', if they enjoyed it.  11-79, no one was immune.  It was concerning to the people in charge of his church day camp that he would ask such things.  As if their wonderful teenage counselors weren't going home and diddling each other and half the preteens in his group weren't being pressured into oral sex by their boyfriends. 

I digress.

And he has kissed a girl.  Or, rather, been kissed.

But because he's watched by adults All.  Day.  Long.  there is not much time for further exploration.  Not that I'm advocating for it, because he is not mature enough.  Not that his same age peers are, but they are almost all doing it.  Further exploring, that is.

And I looked at him tonight.  Taller than me now.  Tanned arms.  Starting to show a little results from the weight lifting his TSS takes him to three times a week.  I know I'm biased, but SO handsome (even if he got his dad's nose.)  And I know, that except for his differences, he and some girl (because it's pretty obvious that it's girls that attract him) would be exploring that realm.  Experienced another of those wrenches that are so familiar to parents of children who's trajectory is different than the norm.

Not wanting him to miss out.  But so glad he's still so young.  Like most moms, I wanted my babies to stay young longer.  I am so happy to see them grow.  But I love that innocence.  That delay into the familiar twists and turns of adolescence and young adulthood.  And his autism gives me that gift just a little longer.

I sometimes have that ironic thought that I got just what I wanted when my kids were diagnosed with autism.  Babies who never grow up.  Almost as if I was punished for that wish.  But my babies do grow up.  And each growth is noted, if not always welcomed (do parents ever love every step of adolescence?) 

I figure, with Sam at least, I have more time to savor each step.  And to rue the extra time in the difficult levels.

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