Best and Worst

Every day I try to ask the boys "Best and Worst." What was the one best thing and the one worst thing that happened today? It is a nice, closed-ended way of finding out about their day. It is not that unfathomable "What happened at school today?" that throws every kid (especially autties) into such a loop that all you get is "Nothing." Instead you get the high- (and low-) light of the day. What was most important in a day of (hopefully) mundane-ness.

I love this new ritual for a lot of reasons. I love that Sam can do it. I love hearing what is important. I love the insights into Isaac and Sam's day and into their minds. I can't wait until Nathan can do it.

Tonight I asked Sam about best and worst. The best was nice, but not particularly remarkable. The worst was much more interesting.

Sam had a very hard time getting the words out. First he put them how they came out of his head, which to me was a lot of confusion. But he persisted (which was excellent, because it was a lot of work.) Even that was admirable.

Finally he got out that one of his friends (Lindsey, a girl, of course!) doesn't have plans for the weekend.

"Oh" I asked, "how is that worst?"

"Well, if you don't have plans, you don't know what you are doing!"

This was touching and remarkable on at least two levels.

First: Sam's worst thing that day was worrying about a friend! How nice is that? I mean, every day is work for him. Coping with all the sensory assaults, both external and internal. While trying to do all the 6th grade kid stuff that has to be done. And he's worried about his (GIRL) friend. NEAT! So much for lack of empathy.

Second: What an insight into his mind. He really doesn't seem to mind when we have open-ended, free-wheeling weekends. But he craves order and a schedule. He likes to know what is going to happen. So much so that when a friend doesn't know, it's the worst thing that happened all day.

So Paul and I, who crave a lack of schedule once in a while, will work harder to at least schedule our unscheduled-ness!


  1. We do "high point and low point." I love the answers we get.

  2. I like this idea - I'm going to try it with my daughter.


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