How Strong, How Long?

'You are so strong.'

As if I had a choice.

As if letting my kids drift into adulthood without fighting for their rights and their future was an option.

I have been strong for 17 years.  Plus 14 years.  Plus 9 years.

Unless you subtract the times I wasn't.

The times when I hated myself for how I parented.

The times I steal for myself.

The times I am lazy.

The times I don't really like my kids.

The times I am an asshole to my kids.

Those times are probably counted at time and a half.

I think I must have a negative balance.

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