When the Hardest Part is Your Brother

   Tonight Sam and I were discussing best and worst parts of his day.

Mom: What is the hardest part of your day? ('Hardest' is a more acceptable word than worst.)

Sam: Oh, at school or home?

M: How about both.  What was hardest at school and what was hardest at home?

S: Well, everything was good at school.  But I hate it because Nathan is always out of control!

M: Oh.  How was Nathan out of control?

S: He was screaming and screaming after dad put him to bed.  It hurts my ears!

M: Ah.  Well, he does scream loud.  But I don't think he was out of control.  I think it was a way of regulating himself, like you do with walking up and down the hall.

S: Well, it hurts my ears!

M: It sure it loud.  I wonder how you could cope better.  How about your ear protectors?

S: I could go to another part of the house.

M: That's a good idea.  Or you could use earphones and listen to music.

S: I could do that.

M: So when Nathan screams in his room, he is actually self-calming.  It's really loud.  So you could use your ear protectors or headphones.  Or you could go to another part of the house.

   It was quite amazing really.  A real conversation with my once nonverbal boy.  Problem-solving.  Willingness to accept another viewpoint.  And bringing me a problem he was having.

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