We have 3 kids: Sam, Nathan and Isaac.

Sam was diagnosed when he was 2year, 7mo with autism. Nathan was born 3 weeks later.

It was a stressful time.

As he grew, it became obvious that Nathan was on spectrum too and I was devastated. I had always wanted a large family and it seemed all I could obsess on was not having more children. Well, in addition to trying to fix what was wrong with my kids, it was all I could obsess on. Eventually, after 4 years, we did decide to have another. At the advanced age of 38, I had Isaac, now 4. And he is neurotypical, the outlyer in our family. The weirdo. Or the normal kid in a family of weirdos, take your pick.

While all of my kids have caused me to grow emotionally, Nathan pushes all of our buttons. All of the things that I feared, that I thought I could never deal with, he has taught me I can. Poop smearing? Thank god that hasn't happened for a few years. Self-abusive behavior? An evolving technique for him. Aggressive towards others? He got kicked out of a camp for autistic kids for this. I mean, you just don't feel like you've hit rock bottom until your kid is kicked out of autism camp. Elopement (running away, escaping?) We've now called 911 twice and I've become friends with the local ambulance squad so I can notify them if he disappears again. The last time he disappeared he was found naked in our neighbor's house ready to take a bath after 45 minutes of being gone.

So I work full time, and my husband stays home with the kids. which is a 24-7 job. Meetings at school, with service providers, OT appointments, developmental specialists. I'm pretty heavily involved with the kids also. I own my own business, but my work is all with the public. So when I'm doing something with them, I'm not at work. It's a hard thing for me to balance, and, being a good mother, I always carry as much guilt as I can stand. When Nathan went missing the last time, I canceled all my appointments for the afternoon. Which, when he was found next door, was embarrassing for me. Luckily, or not, this is a very small town, and everyone knows my business. Everyone has been extremely sympathetic and nice about it.

It's a life.

Comments

  1. Autism was the one thing I feared more than any other difference that one of my children could have..and now I have a son on the asd spectrum, though admittedly it is aspergers he has. I'm glad that everyone is being sympathetic about the challenges facing your family, that doesn't happen everywhere. Long may it continue xx

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